Introduction:
Being chronically ill can leave you confined to bed, watching others live their lives on apps like TikTok, Instagram, or even reality TV shows like the Kardashians. This constant exposure can be incredibly triggering. I know I was extremely depressed at one point when I couldn't move forward with my life due to severe dysautonomia/POTS and undiagnosed Lyme disease. But how do you channel these feelings and start finding light within the same apps? For me, it began by following doctors who had healed, individuals who demonstrated immense mental strength from various backgrounds, extraordinary people like Elon Musk, and motivational speakers like Nick Vujicic. These inspirations helped me transform my envy into a powerful tool for personal growth. Additionally, I had to make tough decisions about my social media interactions—unfollowing anyone who triggered negative emotions, even if they were my best friends. I started muting them and explaining that I no longer followed anyone for personal reasons. Instead, I used Instagram to find healing resources or focused on it for business purposes because it was too distracting otherwise.
The Beginning:
I’ll never forget a conversation I had with a client once. She was struggling with infertility, and after multiple rounds of IVF, she watched as all her friends seemed to effortlessly get pregnant. It was a punch to the gut. She felt that pang of envy, the kind that’s sharp and raw, like someone’s taken a knife to your heart. The more we talked about it, the more she realized that this emotion—though painful—was actually trying to tell her something deeper. She wasn't just jealous of their pregnancies; she was longing for her own motherhood journey.
The Spiral:
That feeling of envy? It’s not just about the other person. It’s about us—what we feel we're missing, or what we truly want deep down. Envy can sometimes feel like a punch in the face, a slap of reality reminding us of what we desire. But here’s the thing: instead of resisting it, what if we allowed envy to be our compass?
The Breaking Point:
I can speak from deep personal experience when I talk about envy. For eight long years, I was battling my health, fighting for my life in what felt like a never-ending survival mode. I didn’t even know it at the time, but I was dealing with a severe case of Dysautonomia/POTS and, on top of that, undiagnosed severe Lyme disease. When you’re in that fight-or-flight state, it’s hard to even think about simple, mundane things—things like walking, working, living a normal life. All I could focus on was surviving.
But, during that time, envy would always creep in. It would rise after every treatment that didn’t work, every therapy that left me feeling just as sick, every trip we would take to see another specialist—only to learn a few things but not find real healing. It felt like a punch in the gut—every time I saw someone else getting better, getting their life back, I couldn’t help but feel that sharp sting of envy.
There were moments when I couldn’t even get out of bed, let alone walk. I was in a wheelchair, and I’d watch everyone around me at the airport, walking—old people, people much older than me—and I’d rot in envy. Why me? Why can they walk, and I can’t? I’d even envy my dog for walking around the house. I’d envy my 90-year-old grandmother for being healthy, and I’d envy every person I saw on Instagram, living their life. After just a five-minute session on Instagram, I decided I would get off the app and stay away from it for two years. The envy was overwhelming. So I went into deep soul-searching mode and decided to address the real issue. It wasn’t just a feeling—it was mixed with a deep victim mentality. Why did I get sick? Why do they get to live their lives, and I can’t? I was doing everything in my power to get better—70% more than your average chronic sick patient—but I was also worse, so I needed to do so much more. Like I've said before, mine was one of the worst cases of POTS and actual heartache I have ever seen in other clinics as well as in my practice.
The Turning Point:
But instead of feeling sorry for myself, I remember having a moment of anger and courage. It was as if something snapped inside me, and I said to myself: Okay, Carola, you didn’t ask for any of this. Yes, I’ve battled for a while now, and yes, I’ve won some battles and lost others. But in the past four years, I’ve had some good moments—and some bad ones too. I once felt so good that I even traveled all the way to Petra in Jordan. And yes, right after that trip, I had a miscarriage. But before that, I was better—better enough to take that trip.
And here’s the thing: at the time, I didn’t even know I was pregnant in Petra. I only figured it out when I got to Madrid. So I felt fine while pregnant, and from a spiritual point of view—What if the baby regretted coming? What if it wasn’t because of my health that I lost the baby? Let’s take the good out of this:
So, in that moment, I chose to focus on what I could control and how far I had come. I had already lived through so much, and even though life wasn’t perfect, I had been through a lot of healing. This wasn’t a pity party anymore; it was a fight to live fully again, even with all the challenges.
A New Chapter:
And then, eight months after that trip, I was pregnant with my perfect first son. He is the light of my life, and if I had had that baby back then, my firstborn, M., wouldn’t exist. So, I wouldn’t change any of the broken road that led me to the son I have today. Every piece of that journey, every painful moment, brought me to the most beautiful, precious gift—my son. And for that, I’m grateful.
The Transformation:
Now, I look at envy differently. When I see something that triggers that familiar feeling in my gut, I lean in. I ask myself: “What is this really about?”
For example, when I think about the actresses I admire—the ones that seem to have it all, like Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie—I realize I’m not envious of their lives in the way people might think. It's not about wanting to be them or have their exact life. I admire them because I can see myself in certain aspects of their lives. Did you know we tend to idolize people we resemble a bit? I know I don’t look like Angelina’s sister, hahaha, that’s not what I mean, but I do have dark hair, a square, angular face, big lips, and an affinity for wanting a large family and a big career—things they have. Megan has three kids and I believe one is on the way, and Angelina has six. I want that—just like them. A large family and a successful career are two things I deeply desire, but not in the same way they have it.
For instance, I don't want everything that Angelina Jolie has. I don’t want to be separated from my husband, as she is from Brad Pitt. I love my husband, and I want to stay married to him forever. As for Megan, while I admire her, I don’t want to deal with the drama and uncertainty that sometimes comes with her relationship, especially after hearing about the struggles with infidelity. I don’t want my life and body to be public domain; I just want to be good in my field. Those are things I don't want in my life. I admire their strength, their family focus, and their ability to balance a big career with motherhood—but I want that balance in my own way, with my own unique path.
Understanding the Grass is Greener:
When we admire or envy someone, especially those we see on platforms like Instagram, it’s easy to assume they have it all. But often, what we see is just one facet of their lives. The women who seem to get pregnant effortlessly likely have perfect health, probably work out regularly, and maintain a healthy lifestyle with a strong mental attitude that helps them manage stress. They’ve endured their own set of challenges, much like everyone else.
Take Hollywood stars, for example. People like Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie might seem to have it all, but they’ve faced their own demons. Look at Britney Spears in the documentary Britney vs. Spears. Britney had it all, but she also endured years of rejection and emotional turmoil, including an emotionally abusive father who tried to take everything from her, even her kids. She actually went crazy because of this. Hollywood fame doesn’t mean a perfect life; it often comes with more challenges than we can imagine.
So, while we look at the grass on the other side and think it's greener, we rarely see the full picture. We only see one aspect of a person’s life going well, while ignoring the struggles they may be enduring in other areas. I remember thinking that someone had the perfect life, only to find out later that they were battling their own invisible challenges. A friend of mine once told me that a certain doctor I admired was living in an abusive marriage. Her husband was so controlling and violent that he wouldn’t even let her go to the gym to work out, fearing that another man might see her. It was a devastating realization that even the most outwardly successful people are fighting battles we may never know about.
Lessons Learned:
Envy can teach us more about ourselves than we think. It’s not a negative emotion; it’s a powerful emotion. What if instead of letting it pull us down, we let it lift us up? When we feel envy, we can use it to examine what we truly want out of life—what excites us, what scares us, and what we’re truly passionate about. Sometimes, we don’t even know what we want until we see someone else living it.
Small Steps/Practical Tools:
Finding Inspiration on Social Media:
Being chronically ill can make platforms like TikTok, Instagram, or even reality TV shows like the Kardashians especially triggering. When you can’t get out of bed or into the world, there are no outings, and all you have left is watching TV or scrolling through social media. You end up obsessing over other people’s lives because you can’t live your own. During my darkest moments battling extreme dysautonomia/POTS and undiagnosed Lyme disease, I felt overwhelmed by envy and depression. But I learned to channel these feelings by following inspiring accounts—doctors who had healed, individuals who demonstrated immense mental strength, and extraordinary people like Elon Musk. Additionally, I connected with motivational speakers who have faced significant health challenges, such as:
By following these individuals, I found strength and motivation to transform my envy into a positive force for my own growth and healing.
Managing Social Media Triggers:
Another crucial step in my journey was learning to manage the triggers on social media. I realized that some accounts, even those of my best friends, would provoke feelings of envy and inadequacy. To protect my mental health, I made the difficult decision to unfollow anyone who triggered negative emotions, regardless of our relationship. I even muted some friends and explained to them why I was taking this step. As I often told them, I no longer followed anyone personally anymore; I used Instagram solely to find healing resources or focused on it for business purposes because it was too distracting otherwise. Setting these boundaries was essential in maintaining my mental well-being and allowing me to use social media as a tool for inspiration rather than a source of pain.
Final Thoughts:
Envy is often a mirror, reflecting our true desires, but it's up to us to choose how we respond. It's easy to let envy make us feel small or resentful, but if we flip the script, we can use it as a tool for growth and self-discovery. Next time you feel envious, take a step back. What is it truly telling you? And how can you use that energy to create the life you’ve always wanted? I know I made that shift and now I am 100% healed and ready to make my wildest dreams come true, there’s no stopping me now and I am here to help you get there too, because there is more than enough to go around for everybody simply because we don’t all want to be marine biologists saving the dolphins do we? We don’t all want to be porn stars or rock stars or even a Wall Street executive. I don’t have the time or resources to have 7 billion clients, do I? I cannot manufacture and store 3 billion supplements. I have my audience, however small it might be, and that’s enough—more than enough for me.
Let me know in the comments: Have you ever found that your envy was actually pointing you toward something you really desired? Let’s talk about it! Feel free to text us vía whatsapp or in the comment section on Instagram.
to your INVISIBLE BATTLES & UNSEEN STRENGTH,
Carola Le-Wriedt
Founder, Wellhistic & The Holistic Detox
